Joan Midgley Gormley

In Loving Memory of Joan Midgley Gormley

February 10, 1944 – September 25, 2025

Born on February 10, 1944, to Henry (Harry) and Elizabeth (Bess Lewis) Midgley, publicans in Manchester, UK. She was the beloved sister of Arthur, Betty, and Clare.

She is survived by her husband of 57 years, Charles (Charlie), their four children, Benjamin, Daniel, Sarah, and Matthew, and their three grandchildren, Lelah, Bram, and Myles.

A spirited and adventurous young woman, at the age of 17, she immigrated to the United States aboard the Queen Elizabeth II, working as a Nanny for a family with 4 children. She returned to England after a year, returned to care for the (now 6) children while the parents explored Europe for 6 weeks. Joan spent 18 months living and working at various jobs in Boston, but from there, the next step in her journey brought her to the slopes of Mount Snow, Vermont, where she met the love of her life, Charles Gormley. They married in 1968 and went on to raise four children: Benjamin, Daniel, Sarah, and Matthew.

Determined and compassionate, after her children were old enough to care for themselves, Joan decided to “go back to school,” never having graduated from high school in England. She took her GED’s and passed with flying colors. Next, she enrolled in the “Continuing Education for Women Program” at the Extension Division of URI in Providence. She realized then how much she loved education and decided then to continue learning and enrolled in the nursing program at the University of Rhode Island. She received her BA and began her career first at Saint Elizabeth’s Nursing Home around the corner of her home in the Elmwood neighborhood of Providence. Joan next took a position at Roger Williams Hospital caring for cancer patients and finally at the Miriam Hospital.

Her dedication to medicine led her into research, focusing first on cancer and later on the AIDS crisis fields, where her empathy and intellect left a lasting mark. Just how wonderful she was as a member of her “second family” as that very special nurse within the Infectious Disease Department will become apparent a bit further in this tribute, rather than an obituary for Joan.

After surviving 3 lung cancers, she decided not to receive treatment for her 4th. “I’ve had a wonderful life, and I don’t want to prolong it any longer,” she told her doctors. She continued to do the things she enjoyed most, Friday night dinners with family, long and eventually shorter rides with Charlie, always ending with water views, trips to Sacred Cow for her favorite Pistachio Sugar Cones, listening to Simon and Garfunkel on the drive there, and Bob Marley on the way home, until she became too weak to travel.

At that point Charlie let everyone who knew Joan that she had decided to die at home, and invited them to visit with her. Having experienced the deaths of his two closest friends many years ago when they were still in their forties, he learned that dying people often times have to absorb the sorrow of people who come to say goodbye. He refused to let that happen to Joan. Charlie laid out specific directions for all visitors in his invitation . . . DO NOT express sorrow. DO sit with her on the couch. Do hold her hand. DO hug her. Do tell her why you love her. Do remember with her the special times you shared with her. Do tell embarrassing or funny stories. And when you are leaving, DO NOT say goodbye. DO tell her once again as you are leaving how much you love her.

First on her living room couch and eventually in a hospital bed with hospice care, she learned just how important she was in everyone’s lives. And Charlie got all the support and love he needed by being present while everyone did as he asked.

And now the tributes of her “Second Family” at Miriam Hospital.

Susan Cu:
I have known Joan for 33 years. It seems like only yesterday when I first met Joan on my first day in the U.S. She was immediately warm, full of wisdom, joy, humor but most of all smart and caring for our patients. I learned so much from her and warmth and care, they were the most sincere I have seen. When my daughter was born, she gifted her with Peter Rabbit blanket and towel. My daughter carried that blanket everywhere with her even when it was torn from wear. Joan’s kindness even outside of work shows you the “real” Joan. She loved her martinis. Since I can’t drink, she and Charlie finally brought their own martini glasses to my home for the dinners we would have. Joan is more than just a friend to me. She was my caring Angel who guided and inspired me all these years. There are no words to describe a person’s true self, but Joan’s actions always showed her true self. I cry as I write these words for a person I truly love.

Jody Rich:
I have always felt close to Joan. Perhaps it was because we worked together as parts of a bigger team to address the AIDS epidemic in the time before we had effective antiviral therapy. It’s just as likely it’s because of her innate zest for life, her wisdom, her grounded, practical approach to helping so many of our patients. They were those most in need at the most vulnerable time in their lives. It is no wonder that many of them, decades later, remember Joan with such fondness and appreciation. Having Joan in my life and the experiences we shared, working tirelessly side-by-side, was definitely a silver lining to the horrible tragedy of the AIDS epidemic.

Tim Flanigan:

Joan made me love life more, and laugh even when I was tired. She taught me how to be a better doctor but even better, she taught me how to appreciate my patients more and be a better person.

On a busy clinic day, she would come in and tell me a hilarious story about one of my favorite patients… She knew that story because she was such a good friend to so many of the patients that she cared for.

She helped me realize that my patients were extraordinary people first and patients second.
She helped me to laugh at myself, and that laughter was the spice of life.

My world is richer… The colors I see are brighter… The music I hear is more lively… All due to the loving friendship of Joan Gormley. Thank you, Joanie for the love and the laughter that you shared and for being my friend.

Kathy Wright:

Joan Gormley was/is a woman of substance. Professionally she led her team by example but always with the main focus being on the safety and wellbeing of our patients. She was clear in her direction to her staff and expected them to put as much effort into the work as she did. Thus, there was no micromanagement. She expected you to do what was expected of you and only met with her wrath if you didn’t follow through. A great boss! I’ll always remember her asking if “she could have a word” when she wanted to speak with you. I think of her whenever I watch British TV which is always.

After retiring I got to know Joan on a social level. We shared a great many wonderful dinners and lunches and lots of laughs. We had a mutual fondness for the royal family which we enjoyed gossiping about. One of her greatest assets was her sense of humor. Even while in hospice care she was gracious and so

In my eyes Joan will always be the “Queen Mum.”

Helen Patterson:

Joan always believed in me, when I didn’t believe in myself. She encouraged me when I needed an extra push- she provided me with one of the most important opportunities of my life- to work with her in research. It was an opportunity to be a patient advocate, ally, and confidante- at a time when having HIV came with so much stigma. She cared for our patients with respect and dignity, and taught me the same.

She was my mentor – not only at a job, but in life. She taught me so many things about life – don’t sweat the small stuff – some things in life you just can’t change- and LAUGH! She had such a great sense of humor – we shared so many laughs about so many random things! I learned a whole bunch of quirky British terms over the years, and use them on a regular basis.

She was patient, she was kind, she was bright, she was a teacher to mention just a few. All of these things tied together made her the amazing person that she was. There is no one on the earth like her, and there never will be. I will always love her. Rest easy mum.

Debbie Perez:

Joan’s unwavering dedication to the clients/patients she served as well as her unwavering support to “my nurses” as she called us. She would ask Tim “are you harassing my nurses again?” Joan’s willingness to give up some of her time to mentor me is again the reason why I never say no when asked to teach – share my knowledge. Joan wanted people (me) to get out of their comfort zone and soar. It was because of Joan that I learned how to publicly speak and share/demonstrate the skills that I learned. Joan always came to any lectures that I was asked to do (ACTG) because she wanted me to know I was supported – she gave me confidence.

Joan is the reason why I attended the World’s AIDS conference in Barcelona as she intervened when another nurse (who no longer worked at The Miriam Hospital) was considered for going to help facilitate a doctor. Joan spoke up and said that I deserved to go in place of the other nurse as she felt I deserved it. When I was told/asked to go to Barcelona, of course, I agreed but then thought to myself “who am I? I’m no one. A girl from East Providence going to the World’s AIDS conference? I was panicky, but excited. Joan believed in me and there were many discussions and inspiring words from Joan. My confidence continued to grow because of her.

Because of Joan’s encouragement and push to be the best that you can be, I was asked to go to Cambodia to fill in for a nurse who last minute she could not go. I flew to Cambodia and was able to speak and demonstrate skills needed and this is because of Joan.

Joan, I love you. You taught me the “joy of sharing knowledge.” And I will always keep this in my heart and mind. Also, I remember a conversation Between Joan and myself about diplomacy. She would have to get on these obnoxious calls with Principal Investigators and other ACTG lead nurses. There was one Investigator who was arrogant and loved to hear himself talk. Joan loathed him lol! I remember saying to her that I would never have the patience or diplomacy to be on the calls. She told me it is because of Charlie who taught me how to be diplomatic. And thank you Charlie for the pleasure of asking about our thoughts.

A devoted wife, loving mother, and Nana, a caring sister and friend to many, she will be remembered for her sharp wit, warmth, and tireless devotion to both family and the betterment of others. Joan leaves behind a legacy of love, resilience, and service.

Joan wanted to be cremated without any formal services. There will be a celebration of her life, time and place yet to be determined.